Starting a Business at 36: Equal Parts “Yay!” and “What the Actual F*CK"”

So here I am, 36 years old, sitting in my kitchen with a half-cold coffee, wearing pajama pants that used to be cute, questioning every life choice that led me to start a business. I always thought being your own boss would be glamorous—like, sipping lattes while money rolls in and casually saying things like “my assistant will handle it.” Spoiler alert: I am the assistant. I am also the janitor, the accountant, the customer service rep, the unpaid intern, and the slightly unhinged visionary who thought this was a great idea.

Don’t get me wrong—starting a business is empowering… in the way that deciding to cut your own bangs is empowering. You feel very in control until you realize you have no idea what you’re doing and your bank account is side-eyeing you like, “Ma’am. Sit down.”

No one tells you how many emotions you’ll cycle through before 10 a.m. You go from “This is genius, I’m a CEO!” to “I’m going to fake my own death and live in a cabin with goats.” All while pretending you totally understand what an LLC is and how taxes work (you don’t—but Google is your bestie now).

There’s fear, oh yes. The kind that creeps in at 3 a.m. and whispers, “What if this fails and everyone sees you crash and burn in public, like a glittery, over-caffeinated meteor?” But there’s also magic. Tiny wins feel like fireworks: someone followed your page? Pop the champagne. Got your first order? Full happy dance in the living room.

And the truth is, starting a business at this age hits different. You’re not doing it to “find yourself.” You know who you are. You’re doing it because you’re tired of working for people who schedule meetings that should’ve been emails and tell you to “circle back” on nonsense. You want something real, something yours, something that doesn’t make you dread Mondays.

So yeah—it’s scary. It’s frustrating. But it’s also bold, beautiful, and pretty badass.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to Google “how to make a profit before losing my mind.”